As Good As It Gets

Everyone experiences this situation once in awhile.When you feel that you have nothing else to do,you do something that you would not normally do.For my case,I went on a binge on food.The euphoria.Especially eating the luxuriously tasty Kinder Bueno.Nyum.

There goes my belly,and so is the guilt.

Just a short entry,I got nothing much to get doing today.I want to watch Napoleon Dynamite, which I’ve just finished downloaded after 41 hours of painstakingly waiting.Yes, 41 hours to download about 1.36 Gig movie.Worth it anyway.

Movie essentials for next month

As a commemoration
to  the only sci - fci movie that I revered,I will watch:
1.E.T

Ok,I did not watch all of Quentin’s movies.But,I plan to watch this one;

2.Reservoir Dogs

I watched this one 3 - 4 times already,but I am still going to watch it with my friend.Probably one of the most brilliant comedy movies made,but There’s Something About Mary still the funniest.
3.Napoleon Dynamite

It is like looking a needle in haystacks if I go to the town looking for the DVD/VCD of these movies.So,the last option which will enable me to watch these movies is through that little thing call  Internet with a helper call BitComet help me to reach to the movies.Illegal and free,which most of the people in the 3rd world(who has Internet connection) do.

For the whole day,I have been listening to some radio music stations. I seriously think that all of those artists, particularly in the hip - hop and R&B genre should be banned from displaying their ‘artistic creativity’ especially the never - ending usage of sexual connotation in their lyrics,music videos and image.I mean, when can we ever get some real music?The best era was the 90’s.The generation X kids were the epitome of coolness.

The middle 90’s was their moment of glory.Alternative music was all the rage at the time.I considered myself a Gen X kid, although most of most my growing up years were the early 2000’s.A lot of things from the 90’s has a profound influence on me,which shaped my personality today,especially my musical inclination.

Just go out and ask any of the kids who grew up in the 90’s.Who wouldn’t forget some of the mainstream artists at the time such as Oasis,Pearl Jam,Alanis Morissette and Nirvana?What about less popular but well-known among 90’s music fans such as Better Than Ezra,Everclear,Sonic Youth and Cornershop?Oh man,these were the music I grew up to.Alternative music,usually infused with indie.

Sex does sell, especially in music,but not for me.I loathe a lot of the hip - hop artists out there especially that guy who was named after a coin.There are some exception,such as N.E.R.D and Kanye West whom both I listen to.These two hip - hop artists are a cut above everyone in the industry.I admire their musical creativity and talents very much.

Alternative music will make a comeback for sure.It has been more than 10 years since the golden era of alternative music.Then,it would be the end of the 3 B’s in music.(Bitches,booties,boobies).The 3B’s are for movies and books only.

Thought of the day:
What does that "London Bridge" in Fergie’s new song means?Hmm..

Somehow,I feel compel to blog today.It is 1.59a.m in the morning.Nothing to worry,I can sleep as much as I want starting from tomorrow.

While I was at the town just now,people around me spoke in different dialect.It sounds so different from where I come from.After I got here,only now I appreciate what makes me truly a Sarawakian.I think everyone has heard the famous tautology which goes "You can take the person out of Sarawak,but you can’t take the Sarawak out of the person".

I still carry the Sarawakian antics,one of them is being loud.Loud, but not snobbish or rude. At times,I am too loud that everyone in my vicinity gives a sharp stare at me.But,I can’t help myself,I am still in the undercoat of my birthplace.

That thick Sarawakian accent.I try my best to speak utara with my friends here,but unfortunately, the Sarawakian sing-song rhythm of pronouncing a word is very significant in my conversation.I notice that my friends sometimes giggle at the way I pronounce words.But,it doesn’t matter.I’m trying my best.I am sure they appreciate me trying my best to speak their language.

The usage of Sarawakian words.I blurted out the word "nyaman" one day,which referred to the appetising food I just had.My friends gave me a blank stare,that word just does not imply what I means.It was embarrassing,but at least we had a good laugh about it.

Owh,Sarawak,my home and native land…

I miss everything about Sarawak.I will bring back a Sarawak flag when I go back to Miri in the next 2 months.Everytime people ask me where I am from,I would proudly tell them,I am from SARAWAK.I am very,very proud.

My state flag.

I am just wondering when is Shell is going to give my scholarship money.I can’t ask for money from my parents all the time.It has been 2 months,and I am scholarship-less.

For the whole day yesterday,I dedicated myself to become a temporary incarcerated soul. Well, it is not as melancholic as it sounds, I just embellished the word "loner" to "temporary incarcerated soul".I think it describes more what I felt,emotionally and physically at the time. I went to church with some friends, then we parted our own way afterwards.

Then I wandered around Georgetown area, fuelled by my sense of curiosity.I wanted to see the beach,badly.So,I walked,without knowing the direction I was heading.I did not stop for direction and there was NO map.

So I walked on, and on and on.

There was a lot of old and historical buildings with very complex facades.I adored The Eastern Hotel which was located nearby Slippery Senoritas.Oh, there was a mini carnival going on there,but nothing much.Then,I was like"Umm ok,the buildings are nice,ok…"

Then,I walked on and on again.

After 45 minutes of walking without any direction, I arrived somewhere I thought I was familiar with.I saw a signboard: [Jalan Kelawei]. Yes,no kidding,I was somewhere near Gurney Drive.That was how FAR I walked.If you are a Mirian,I can compare the distance which is like going from our City Fan to SRB St Columba. YES, THAT FAR. I am not overexaggerating.The simple truth.

Oh well.Since I unintentionally got there,I went inside Gurney Plaza.I was doing,basically,nothing. Loitering @ Lepak la.

Then,I walked on(inside the building).It was boring.I was like "Umm..nice place.Ok…Umm"

Soon,I went outside.It was nearing evening,so I did my evening stroll along Gurney walk.

Picture this situation.

A sunset.A picturesque view.The happy families around me.The cash - ladden tourists taking some snapshots of the view.The flying storks.The fresh(and sometimes repugnant) smell of the sea.The breezy wind from the Indian Ocean.

It struck me.I was filled up with dissillution.It was a great feeling,when your mind is in total blank.I felt drugged.It was peaceful to be in that state of mind,which I rarely experienced.Ah..

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These lines represent the thoughts.

Afterwards,I went for a quick dinner at McDonalds.McDonalds.Again.I am tired of fast - food.Probably,I should make a make a sequel of Supersize Me to stop me from eating at these places.

About 8.30p.m.Went back.With a lot of satisfaction.

Thought Of The Day

Chelsea won! 2 -0.After 2 sloppy matches.One goal by Lampard and another by Drogba,both goals in the 2nd half.I am a happy,happy man.Cheers!

Finally, a week of break.I deserve this break,it has been 2 hectic months of non-stop classes(and long i distance of walk to classes). But, I cheer the coming of the holiday with a low - toned "Yay!…". It could be an ambigous joy too. I do not know. I am not sure what to get doing for this holiday.I thought I got everything planned already, but I am not sure if I can execute my them accordingly.

My tentative plans
1.Go to Kuala Lumpur to see my cousin’s new baby
2.A 2 day excursion to Langkawi Island
3.Round island
4.Try one of those notorious clubbing places in Penang
5.Find a new Blackberry phone(if my money is sufficient)
6. Last but not least, a week packed of study,because I am lagging behind.I am on Shell scholarship for God sake.

I didn’t plan to go back to Miri because it is just a week holiday. All of my friends are going back or somewhere else.Without them,I am not sure what I activities I can do to enjoy myself,but I will figure that out. There are 8 days left. Yeah, a very short period of time.

I have been ill since yesterday afternoon. Probably, I did not get enough sleep in the past 3 days due to unforseen situations that I had to face. But, after 12 hours of sleeping, I feel invigorated.So,now,it is all good.

Thought of the day
Tar and I supposed to attend Malam Kebudayaan India yesterday night at DUD.We were late.Sorry for wasting your 20 minutes of driving to come here,man,yet we didn’t attend it.You should extort your petrol bill from me one day.

Lazing around is my latest antics. My friends wouldn’t believe me if I tell them. Douglas Jok Jau isn’t synonymous with this morbid attitude at all. But friends, I changed A LOT. I am on the verge of being someone else I am not. Oh man, how does this come about?I have no idea.

Life here is almost like what I experienced in Labuan. Seriously, there is not much different. The only main difference is that I am surrounded with different people.I speak English in different accent too.The "utara" version of English. I used a lot of "lah" interjection everytime I speak too, which I do not normally do whenever I speak with my friends.

My English proficiency is detriorating.I can’t pronunce some words properly.For instance, the other I was trying to use the word "sovereign". It took me minutes to get the proper pronunciation.Oh man,so how am I going to get a good job if my English is no good?Probably, I should be starting to speak in proper English.I mean in my daily conversation.With myself.

I learnt to speak the "utara" dialect too.I thought that everyone in the Peninsular Malaysia speaks K.L dialect. But, I was wrong. It is very different here. One word that AMUSED me is "Hang". It means "you", as "kitak" in Sarawakian dialect. It was awkward for me to use that word for the first time, but I think I am getting used to using that word.

Do you think you know what this sentences means?

"Hang takdak pi kelah dengan depa ka?Napa plak?Aku pun pi gak."
"Mai sini sat,aku ada hal nak cakap ngan hang aaa"

Yeah, I bet most of you do not have the slightest idea what I am saying.Haha.

The first sentence means " You didn’t go to class with them?Why?I did go too."
The second one means "Come here for a while,I have something to talk about with you"
I am still in the preliminary stage of learning this new language.When I come back to Sarawak, please forgive me if I blurted out these words. But, I promise I will always tell people that I am a Sarawakian and I will always speak Sarawakian. Janji,anang sikkan lupak dirik aku.

Thoughts of the day:

I am in dire need to revise a lot of the lessons I missed(or ignored).

I slept around 5a.m today.Yeah, been up whole night.I was doing some errands that required me to stay up all night long(till the early morning). I managed to sleep for some decent hours,so it is all good. But, I didn’t go to church today. And also last week.The excuse?I did not have  do not know how to manage my time properly. My time management is BAD. I have missed some important events that I need to attend.For example, the Biro Tatanegara talk that required me to register before Friday of last week. But, I was too late.I went to the registration counter and they told me that I have to register for the next talk in the 2nd semester. I admit it, I am very oblivious of what is going on around me, till someone notice me.

Oh man, things are quite messy.I have plenty of assignments and revisions that I need to look through. I need to look through them because I have not yet read or even touch those stacks of papers containing my notes and assignments. I believe that all those assignments are nearing their due date.And I seem not to care too much.Obliviousness + procrastination = High possibility of getting BAD grades.

Today,I ate a LOT.I have no idea what causes the outburst of my appetite today. I ate twice for lunch and I drank 3 glasses of drinks.Probably I was boring.I talked with only one person today.As usual, weekends in USM. I usually spent it alone.I am always in the cafeteria area of Restu because I prefer to use the TMNET network than USM Hotspot.

There will be one week holiday next week.I am not sure if I want to go back or not.Or I should be going to KL to visit my cousin who will be giving birth anytime soon. I do not know,I am not sure whether bus/plane tickets are still available.

Thought of the day

I really, really, really miss you.I miss you like fat kids in Fat Camp miss cakes.(But you have no idea who you are)

It has been 2 months I stayed in Penang,on the main island.I have not yet been to the mainland(Seberang Prai) yet.It means,I have not yet cross the pride of the islanders,the Penang Bridge.It is clearly visible from my dorm.Looks gorgeous at night. How thing has been going here?So far so good.Everyone has been nice and warm to me.I can’t tolerate the food though.Penangnites like their food spicy and mixed with various spices.I prefer to eat at the fast food restaurants. KFC,McD and Pizza Hut are just 15 minutes walk away.So,I frequently go to this places, alone……

Pause.Inclining on the chair.Deep sigh.Silence.Thinking again.Get back to my computer.

Alone.That obiquitous word,often used by a lot of people from all walks of life.I am lonely person.Yes,it is not easy to say this.I guess it is easier to bare myself on my blog rather than telling my friends about my feelings. Loneliness has been a faithful companionship of mine for a long time. But, I do have best friends.They accompanied me in times of sadness and joy.But who or what can fill in the void that I have in my life?I have always been known to be goofy and the person who would break laughter in the room,but who would understand the real feeling that I have underneath?I guess none.

Especially that, I am now staying in a land very foreign for me.My loneliness has exacerbated into an agony.I have very few friends who I can trust upon here.All my other friends are studying somewhere else. It is just depressing.I can’t live without companionship.I feel dejected and lifeless without interaction.For instance,today I am mute the whole day.Yeah,like every weekend I spend here.Muteness is my foe,I cannot stand being mute all day.Its absurd.

On the other hand,I am very positive of the changes I am currently undergoing.I am morphing into a better me.Perhaps,I can learn something about the loneliness I am experiencing.Maybe it is not a bad thing after all.As the Malay proverb says "Ada hikmah di sebalik segala kejadian"

Thoughts of the day

-At least I am still breathing when I woke up this morning.